I'm not going to go into all the troubles that others have caused to skew this, because ultimately, I love my mum and she loves me. When she passes on one day, I'll be sad but I know that who I am as a person is because of her, and how I see the world is because of her, so she's not truly left me.
Now onto today,
It was Stake Conference Saturday, and mum and Tane were giving a talk together. Have you ever seen 2 non-chalant people prepare together? Well that's the thing ... they don't. It's a blessing that the Lord is in the center of their relationship so he can carry their words. I really did enjoy it, even though I had to sit alone while they were at the front. I wore my nicest dress with a blue jumper over, I wore a white headband and I curled my hair. There was an Area 70 that was speaking too, and afterwards, he ended up talking with me as I was talking to bishop originally when he came to say hi. I noticed he was side-eyeing me when he asked for my age, which I replied with 15, but 16 in January of course. He said I looked much older, and I know people say that when they were hoping I was older, hahaha so he then said that I looked really sweet and that he wished his son were with him so he could introduce him to me, but that he was probably too old. I was really flustered and so flattered!! Like coming from a general authority, that's like the best compliment ever. He said he saw the light of christ through me, and I'm still pondering that.
I'm not a member that can stand and proclaim that this gospel is true, but I am a girl who tries to show and spread the love of christ through my actions, and through my own love for others. I feel inadequate that I don't have full faith yet, but I guess I'm not doing too bad if I inspire others to follow Him. I try my best, and I hope one day I will have faith of things as they are, and faith in things that are yet to come.
After this long excursion which was waiting for parents to finish chatting, we went to our favourite filipino restraunt just to see the missionaries and a friend of ours were there as well! We joined them and I always enjoy the company of others. But being a young girl around Elder missionaries I feel like saying nooo I don't wanna dismay you by talking to you, or I don't want to accidentally hit on you. No, don't worry I don't, but the thought still runs through my head. On of the Elders, Elder Tahi was pretty amused by my dumphone. At least it's a conversation starter.
Tane was happy chatty on the way home which I always like to see when him and mum are happy, and I get to just watch from the backseat. It was 9pm at this point so mum and I took the dog we're dogsitting out for a short walk, and I took a verryyy long shower after. At least it gave mum and Tane some time to themselves. We giggled through scripture reading, as I was snuggled into mum, and mum was holding Tane's hand. I realise that I think I model more of my ideal future relationship more off them 2 rather than my dad. You can't build a long-term relationship off lust, and that's what my dad had, and still wants to have.
I believe you can't build a relationship off control, power, or rank. They do these things on the basis that a woman needs to be 'put in her place'. Sure, if you're trying to reign in a woman whose hotsy, then what do you expect? Some people just don't work together, that doesn't mean you need to control them into a good relationship. Pure love is shown through 2 people who devote themselves to eachother, and I personally find it endearing when I see husbands who still don't believe they deserve their wives. The main thing, is finding a wife that doesn't manipulate that. Hear me out dad, it's bekky and the women on the internet. He doesn't go out enough to realise there's more out in the real wold. But of course, who posts a video about a woman who does good in her relationship?
Needless to say, I take people's experiences and try and compile them together to find something that fits in my head, but I'm open-minded.
Sooooooo, after that spiteful tangent, mum and I talked as I tried snuggling maui the dog (he just growled at me) and posted a fb story, and now she tucked me into bed, and now I'm writing lol. Just so I can get thoughts off my chest.
I am so grateful I was born at the time I was, to the parents I was, and to the Lord who I wish to become like.
No comments:
Post a Comment