your past present future

you'll probably think I talk about guys too much lately, and I would say you're probably right. Right now there is a guy in my past, a guy in my present, and just me in my future. I guess since everything's happened I've only thought about the present, but sometimes takes a small wee trip down memory lane. 

You know, being single is underrated, or should I say rather being productively single is underrated. There's plenty of ways to waste time in this life, but time spent well is a blessing. I was looking back on my 2 month long phase before fsy. At that point I was dealing with missing some 20 year old in my life, and I'd say I dealt with that like a champ. I think I displayed a normal amount of remorse as well as moving forward in life. I went to the gym, I made new friends, started my new seminary class, got back into flexibility, and overall made the most of that free time I now had. Obviously I still hurted and I wrote it down here, but I think from that I actually grew in a healthy way and I don't look back on that time as some sad time in my life. I actually kinda miss having lots more free time hahaha but I love Emmanuel.

I had that happy reminiscent feeling again when I actually looked at his IG for the first time in months. I mostly skipped everything before. I mostly laugh at myself in the way that I used to be that man's best friend but I enjoyed the peace that I was happy seeing how life is turning out really well for him in his dance career and when I see him I see the happy memories and not the pain I self inflicted in that time. I receive a notification from my boy si emms, and smile a little at how life winds it's ways mysteriously.